Some life-saving advice - just for fun.

Excuses for social gaffes in France.


Recently, Nance and I were preparing for the visit of a cousin and spouse from the USA. Jim is a great friend and hunting companion; and Nancy had even shared that our visit with them one weekend was one of the things that convinced her that I just might be the right guy to share the rest of her life. Anyway, Jim and I like to kid each other a lot; so in preparation for their visit I suggested to him that he should practice saying “Garçon!” and snapping his fingers to impress the waiters when we went out to dinner. He suggested that if he did that that some big Frenchman just might come out and beat him up – to which I laughed and responded that I had just the phrase to protect him. So, out of that grows a list of phrases/excuses for you to use in France if your companion embarrasses you with a social gaffe that you may find humorous. (It is all in fun folks; so don’t take it serious or get your feelings hurt.)

Lead-ins: To determine whether to use ma or mon, just remember that Ma is feminine; and mon (masculine) is the sound your dad makes when you tell him about the scratch/dent/ total you have done to the car.)



Ignorez s'il vous plaît mon cousin américain stupide. (Yep, it means what it sounds like.)

Ignorez s'il vous plaît mon cousin idiot. (Please ignore my crazy cousin.)

Ignorez s'il vous plaît mon marie idiot. (Please ignore my crazy husband.)

Excusez s'il vous plaît ma femme bête. (Please excuse my silly wife.)

Or substitute fil (son) or fille (daughter) as required.

Now here are the excuses:

Elle est vraiment un blond. ( She is really a blond.)

Sa mère l'a laissé tomber quand il était un bébé. (His mother dropped him as a baby)

Il était un fusilier marin et un flic. (He is an ex marine and a cop.)

Il a perdu la raison depuis. (He has lost his mind ever since.)

(By the way; please do not ever say “Garçon!” and snap your fingers at someone unless it is a little boy whose attention you are trying to get.)  :-)

Bern and beyond

It is Friday morning here; and I am in bed with my laptop in my lap - of course - wherre else would it be?  I have a bronchitis that I am sure my daughter gave me over the phone from California - I just don't know quite how she did that; but I sound pretty much like she did when I talked to her on Wednesday.
I took Nancy with me on a drive to Port, Switzerland yesterday for a business meeting.  She walked around, watched birds, and read "Emma" while I conferred with a soon-to-be client (I hope).  Then we drove the rest of the way around to Bern, had lunch, and enjoyed this beautiful Swiss city that is the federal capital.  The city burnd to the ground in 1405 and was rebuilt with a local greeninsh sandstone.  As a result, it has over 6 miles of shopping arcades at the base of the old buildings.  I showed her the lobby and restaurant of the Hotel Bellvue - THE hotel where the national delegates stay when their congress is in session.  There was an outdoor skating rink active in the square.  Nancy puts it a close second to Paris in charm.  Natually, the Swiss made the rebuilt city very organized and elegant at the same time.  (No cattywampus streets - large streets, etc.)
We ran in to our biggest traffic snarl yet on the way home last night just as we arrived in Grenoble.  There is one section which can, on bad days, have a speed of 100 meters per minute for about one kilometer.  After that, it is usually just ordinary traffic speeds the rest of the way home.  Last night, it was about 25 meters per minute in that section, and slow/blocked much of the rest of the way.  It didn't help that I was coming down with this whatever I have- so I crashed shortly after we got back to the apartment.  (The weather in Switzerland and most of our ride in France was beautiful; but we arrived back in Grenoble just near the end of a sudden drop of 2.5 to 3 inches of snow - accidents, no road clearing, end of rush hour, etc.)

Paris!

Ahhh, Paris!


It was not my first time in Paris – I have been there several times before; though usually not for as long nor in such a romantic setting. The occasion was to celebrate our 2nd anniversary. The travel was by TGV (fast train) from Grenoble to Paris. We stayed in the Hotel Gare Lyon Bastille; had French buffet breakfast each morning at the hotel; and then went out for adventures.

Friday evening was a walk around the neighborhood to the Bastille memorial, along the Seine Quai Rapee, by a boat harbor linked to the Seine by a lock followed by a dinner at a Bistro/café just a couple of doors from our hotel.

Saturday we walked though a modern art outdoor sculpture museé on our way to Notre Dame and the archeological crypt underneath. After lunch, we made our first trip to the Louvre, and viewed sculptures, middle eastern artifacts, Egyptian artifacts, and the apartments of Napolean III, etc before surrendering to tired legs and backs for a return to our hotel. (I don’t even remember what we had for dinner Saturday night!)

Sunday, we took the Metro to Monmartre and attended services at Sacré-Coeur. (The directions for the metro politely and fully provided by our hotel clerk were immediately abandoned since the line we needed to take was closed as of that morning for maintenance.) After a bit of study; I began to figure out the system for myself and we made our trip uneventfully. After the service, we walked to another nice café for lunch; and then headed off to the catacombs. (Big hint: Don’t go to the catacombs or one of the public museums on the first Sunday of the month. Admission is free – so they are very crowded. The line was so long that security informed us that we would not be admitted before it closed. So, I surprised Nancy by getting us off the Metro at the Eiffel Tower. She had initially not expressed much interest in seeing it; but as we approached and she grasped the size of the thing, she was most impressed.

We were very bad for dinner – we went to a creperie and had a crepe with banana, chocolate, and served flabé. Oh la la!

Monday, we went back to the Louvre, and toured Greco-Roman statues and most of the paintings before heading back to the Gare de Lyon for our train back to Grenoble.

Nancy tells me this was the best combination of Valentine’s Day and Anniversary she could have asked for. :-)

Late winter/pre-spring

Rain is falling - more or less continuously as we prepare to depart on the TGV for Paris.  It is supposed to lightly rain tomorrow and then be cloudy for Sunday and Monday.  I guess it does not matter much what the weather is in the Louvre or in Musee D'Orsay.  We will hold off of Monmartre till Sunday or Monday AM.
We have been incredibly healthy since we got back to France; and hope to stay so for the remainder of our time here. 
I have been trying to get enough exercise while here; and managed to climb the 66 steps of our apartment building 15 times in a row the other day.  (It is a little boring; but is a lot warmer than the 32 F outside temperature.)
We are really looking forward to this weekend - celebrating our first two years of marital bliss. 

God is good - all of the time; even when he is taking us through the fire.